So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
