just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You don't make any sense
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