Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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