there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
