Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
