I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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