She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
