im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
