He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
