So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
