I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
