i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
