Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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