But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
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