I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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