So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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