Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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