I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
