I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
