Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
