I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
