I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
