I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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