Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
The power of my boobs compel you
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
