8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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