i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
