Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
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