You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
