Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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