dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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