I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Holy sore nipples Batman
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
