it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
