oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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