I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
