are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Success! We fucked roommates!
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
