i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
actually, I'm a sock model
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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