like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize