im drinking this country out of the recession.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
lol hangovers are for mortals.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
