I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize