Her vagina should come with caution tape.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
