I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize