So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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