I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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