i just google imaged poop.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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