wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
two words: eviction party
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Randomize
