I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
