We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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