the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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