There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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