Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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