North Korea, Best Korea!
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
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