we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Randomize
