do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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