I think my fart just growled at me.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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