You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
