They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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