...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
i've created a new STD.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
