Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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