Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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