Pappa wants mamma naked
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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