I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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