I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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